This is gonna be hard to explain, but as you might notice already, im not death.
In fact my name is not even tanya.
I'm really ashamed of what i have done, that's why it toke me so long to come clean, which is what i'm about to do, so let me explain what exactly is going on here...
You may remember me as dashiepie or tanya, and you may remember that depression bullshit which in the end culminated in my ''dead''.
But if it isn't ovbious by now, it was a lie.
Why? that's the biggest question, and the answer is as stupid as i am.
During that time two things where happening in my life, one of them was that i was getting the atention of some questionable people, not a big treath, just an annoyance. And the other thing was, that i was getting really stupid. I was having this idea that one of my friends, my best friend at the time, din't wanted to be my friend anymore, spoiler alert, it was all on my head.
So genious me thought on the perfect solution to get rid of those annoying people and got to make my ''bad friend'' feel bad. Making public i was suffering from depression, and somehow blaming my friend.
This is messed up in so many levels for so many reasons. I hurt my best friend, i hurt many good friends, my deviant sis, and fans of my work as dashiepie just to get rid of some stupid people.
I can't look at deviantart the same way, i just feel so bad, i can't believe how childish i acted, i can't believe at some point i thought that was a right thing to do, to lie about who i trully was, and to fake my dead, and after so many notes, comments, even pieces of art about my dead, i can't believe it toke me soo long to say the truth. I should have said it the second people got truly worried, heck, i should have never done any of that to beggin with. I guess i couln't beelieve people was actually concerned about dashiepie in general.
I have been telling the truth to some people over the years, but it wasn't until my back then best friend forgive me that i decided that everyone must know the truth.
What i did was so fucked up, so stupid, i was a stupid person, i am a stupid person. None of you deserved what i did to you.
I'm so sorry for all the lies, for making you worry about me in vain, for pretending to be someone i was not, for insulting all the people who actually have depression, for making you believe a human being died, when the only thing that was dying was a monster.
my dear sis
Men, im sorry everyone, im so so so sorry!
There is so many more people im missing right now, but i want you all to know, i am really sorry for the lies and the bad time i made everyone have. I have no excuse for my actions, i fucked up baddly, if i could do anything to make it up to all of you, i would do anything, at all!
What i did is unforgivable, and will haunt me for ever, as a reminder of how stupid and big of an asshole i can be.
And i understand if you can not forgive me... If i were any of you, i wouldn't forgive me eighter.